IT’S ON ITS WAY

IT’S ON THE WAY

 

I’m tickled and, about to climb right out of my skin with glee.   The final proof copy of my first book Blurps, the Starter Set, just arrived at the door. I figured it wouldn’t get here for at least another week but, the guys and gals at UPS we’re regular Paul Revere’s and went for the land speed record.   When I came back from getting a coffee, there it was sitting on an old milk crate out near the front door. My shoulders and rump still hurt from all those cartwheels. Someone’s going to have to show me how to do those things right.

I had a little trouble with the packing tape so, I used my teeth and claws to get the small package open. About an hour later, I was finally able to pull the book out of the box. I only lost one fingernail and a small filling. I closed my eyes as I removed the book. It felt a little thin. Turns out I was holding the packing slip. I forgot about closing my eyes and just shook the book free. It fell into my right hand. I just stood there gawking at it. I hate to admit it but, I almost started bawling. I decided to start laughing instead.

My granddaughter Sadie is on the cover. She was, in a way, the inspiration for the book. She’s a beautiful young girl. This time, she never looked more beautiful. I thumbed through the pages and all looked to be in good order. There might be a typo somewhere. At this point, I don’t care. It’s a go. Man the presses.

I ran to the phone to call the printer. All lines were busy. As I waited for an assistant, I actually whistled along to the two minute repeating phone jingle. I was about ready to add lyrics to it when the operator came on and said hello. I must have seemed like a blabbering fool to her. I was praising the workmanship to the sky and thanking all concerned. Now, that I think about, she’s probably heard all this stuff before. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone on with my babbling for that first half hour. The girl had work to do.

I told her that I’d be needing help placing an order as I really goofed up the last one I tried. She felt she was up to the challenge. Away we went. With her help, the whole process only took about ten minutes. It would have taken me a week at least. Long story short, two hundred books are in the pipeline and should be hear sometime late next week. They might even come sooner. If they take longer, I’ll probably go nuts with anticipation.

The girl and I also set it up so that the book can be bought over the web through things like Barnes and Noble and Amazon. I don’t think that’s quite ready to roll yet. She said it would take a bit for the process to work through the system. I think it’s a pretty good possibility that ebooks will also be able to download it but, not yet.

I must admit that I’m looking forward to selling as many copies as possible. Money has been very tight for Sandy and me. This whole process has set me back a bit more than one might think. It sure would be great to not have to talk myself out of buying a coffee and a buttered roll on my way to work nymore. To actually see an excess balance in the checkbook at the end of the month, even if it was a penny, would put me out in the side yard with the cartwheels again. I’ve heard of vacations. They sound like fun.

Still, there’s another side to my book. I know it’s not War and Peace or Doctor Zhivago. At best it’ll be a pretty good bathroom reader. Some of the blurps turned out pretty darn good. Others didn’t.   I’ve found that since I’ve been looking for Blurps to write for you, my own life has become happier. I’ve also noticed that many of you, when you write to me, are starting to write pretty good Blurps yourselves. Now that you are seeking the good, your lives like mine seem a bit happier too. I figure it this way, if I can get people to look for life’s four leaf clovers like Sadie suggested many years ago then the book will have done its job. That would be rich. Rich indeed.

 

CHEESE PUFFS (WRITTEN FOR DAN)

CHEESE PUFFS FOR EVERYONE   (Written For Dan)

 

The other day at the A&P I was walking to the dairy case when one of the managers asked me if I liked cheese puffs. I said that I did. I just have to be careful not to eat the ones with MSG in them but, other than that, I love those things. So, the manager said how he’s thinking about having a sale. With that, he told me to turn around and look over towards the front of the store between aisles six and seven.

Friends, there was this giant mountain of one gallon jars that spanned the space between the two aisles. It easily measured ten foot by ten foot and rose to a staggering height of seven feet. I’m just quoting from memory. The display might have really been bigger. Each jar in the pile was filled to the brim with those big round cheese puffs. I think there was a sale sign on each side of the pile. This may have been the biggest display of cheese puffs known to man. I felt fortunate to have seen it before the crowds came. I felt like we should have covered it and had one of those unveilings like Dinah Shore used to do with the new model Chevy’s back in the day. It was very spectacular.

I came to find out from the boss that this was a result of a computer glitch. He thought he was ordering fifty jars of cheese puffs. In reality, the computer saw it as fifty cases.   They’re pretty big cases too. Luckily, jarred cheese puffs don’t go bad anytime soon. I got to thinking about them and, spent most of the day slugging it out in the dairy aisle with cheese puffs on my mind.

First off, cheese puffs last forever. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of cheese puffs being found on the shelf past their expiration date. To begin with, they sell very fast but, I also think that they have a shelf life that’s measured in decades rather than days.  Haven’t archeologists found sealed jars of cheese puffs in the ancient pyramids at Giza? I think they have and, they were still crunchy and mighty darn good too. Just the thing to eat when you’re busy translating hieroglyphics. The funny thing is that cheese puffs have not changed one iota from when the ancients first created them.

Cheese puffs are a joy to eat. Many folks eat them as a reward for a job well done.   Some knock down a bag for lunch to sustain their energy for the afternoon chores. They’re always at celebrations. Heck, be it a rich persons party or a poor persons party, you always see cheese puffs on the snack table. If they aren’t there, sitting next to the potato chips, you’ve just got to wonder what’s up. That crunch they have is unmistakable. That cheese dust that gets all over our fingers when we eat them, just makes our day. Licking our fingers afterwards adds hours to the fun. Tell the truth, when you first open a bag or jar of cheese puffs, don’t you just love to take in a big fat whiff? The joy they give us knows no bounds.

Like all of creations cheese puffs are made of star stuff. They come from the universe. I would think that after God did all his creation work, like building Heaven, the universe, angels, mankind and the like and, just before He rested on the Sabbath, He knocked out cheese puffs. It was probably the last thing he did before he went to bed on Saturday night. He probably cooked them overnight and, once he had a nice bag of them in hand, he sat back on a Sunday and just chilled. Maybe he watched football or a very old movie sitting there with a bowl of cheese puffs. The cheese dust got in his beard but, so what.

Here on Earth, and I’m sure on distant planets, cheese puffs are created by the megatons in a continuous wave of creation. It’s sort of like the big bang only tastier. Simple ingredients brought together, a sudden reaction occurs and, a resulting tidal wave of creation explodes out of nowhere. Much like the universe expanded, cheese puffs explode into existence out of nowhere. It’s like Einstein said. E=MC squared. Energy and matter equals Cheese Puffs.

If you want to understand God and creation and all that is holy and good friends, consider the lowly Cheese Puff.   It’s one of the eternal building blocks of existence. Mystics and psychics tell me that when a soul arrives in Heaven, each and every one is presented with a nice jar of…..you guessed it….Cheese Puffs.   The A&P gave Saint Peter a good deal. We’ve got plenty.

 

 

 

POP POP REMEBERS SOME GREAT WEEKENDS. 4/20/15

Old Pop Pop has sort of worked most of his life and just didn’t get a whole lot of time to play around on the weekends.  So, what he’s had to learn, is to find weekend work that is fun to do.  That makes the job a win win situation.  Get some good advice on this one.

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FRIED CHICKEN THAT’S FOR ME

FRIED CHICKEN, THAT’S FOR ME

 

I was just remembering the times that fried chicken touched my life and, it was all good. Ahh, fried chicken, manna of the Gods. Nothing quite compares to that succulent treat. You throw some potato salad on the dish next to it and, maybe some string beans and, a biscuit or two and, there’s just nothing better. Oh, and don’t forget the hot sauce.

My sainted mom could fry chicken with the best of them. Aunt Jemima and Colonel Sanders move aside, cause here’s my mom with her Sunbeam electric frying pan. Mom would get that pan so hot it might actually start to give off a glow in dim light. She’d soak the chicken pieces in a mixture of flour, corn meal and egg. Then, pow, right into the pan it went sizzling the second it hit the Crisco. The whole family would be hunched over the pan knives and forks in our hands and drooling. My father once tried to grab a piece right out of the pan the second it looked done. He should have known better but, he just couldn’t help it. He burnt his upper lip and one nostril pretty bad. That didn’t stop him from stuffing it all into his mouth. The swelling didn’t go down on his tongue for about a week and his gums were spongy for a day or two but, he didn’t care. Mom’s chicken was that good.

It’s a known fact that southern women learn to make fried chicken just after they get out of diapers but, before they can walk. It’s also well known that when they finally decide that they really love a guy they invite him over for a fried chicken Sunday dinner. It will be the best dinner her beau will ever eat.  During the early stages of courtship, the young man will be tempted with chicken fried steak, chicken and dumplings, chicken soup, and maybe some ham. Fried chicken Sunday dinner is her way of saying yes to your proposal whether you’ve proposed or not.  Dessert will be served out on the porch swing after it gets dark.

Down South, it is also unheard of to bother someone who is eating fried chicken. Their joy must not be disturbed. For instance, a friend of mine was eating a bag full of chicken at a picnic table outside of a chicken shack. He was enjoying his meal under a big shady pecan tree when, some crooks pulled up in a ratty old pickup truck. The guys pulled out guns and headed in his direction. They saw that he was eating chicken and excused themselves politely. They said that they didn’t see that he was having lunch and turned around and headed for the kitchen door of the restaurant with guns at the ready.

The kitchen crew saw them coming and, they were met by a barrage of gunfire coming from the kitchen staff. Bullets were flying in all directions. Some say that the dishwasher let fly with a hand grenade he had hiding in the dishpan. I asked my friend if he was afraid. He told me that he wasn’t the least bit afraid because down South, you’re just not allowed to shoot at a guy who’s enjoying a drumstick. It’s unheard of. Well, the crooks felt they were outmatched when the cashier, a nice old lady, whipped out a submachine gun. They, dragged their wounded to the pickup truck and peeled out into the highway heading for the county line. My friend went in and ordered another bag of chicken to go. He had a beer and went home.

He told me this story because I was from up North and, it would be new to me. Most Southerners have seen this kind of thing before so, it’s old news to them. The chili dogs down South are pretty good too but, they aren’t the stuff of legends. They’re just not fried chicken, they’re just chili dogs.

 

LUCKY ME

LUCKY ME

 

The title of this Blurp says it all. Lucky me. No really, I’ve been fortunate with my time on the air and, not in the way you might think. Financially, I’d have done better recycling aluminum cans and deposit bottles.  A really sharp can and bottle picker with a good route and connections can always outshine a small market dj. But, if you don’t enter financial gain into the equation, I’ve done rather well for myself. What would be the term? Treasure in Heaven, that’s it. I feel very rich where it really counts.

I’ll never be able to buy a $40,000 Rolex. What would I do with it anyway? By the by, no matter how much money I make, even if by some cruel twist of fate, I actually start knocking down a million a week, you have my permission to shoot and or poison me if I ever spend 40K on a wrist watch. It would be embarrassing to be caught with something like that on my person. With my luck, it would unbuckle and fall off my wrist in a week or two anyhow. A nice second hand working pocket watch would suit me just fine and, it would be even better if Sandy found it for me at a flea market for two bucks.

The truth is, that there actually is such a thing as laying up treasure in Heaven. In that way, I feel pretty wealthy for sure. Oh, I can use some loot. Don’t get me wrong. But, there’s a limit to money. The station lately, has been a great source of nonmonetary gain. I get deposit transfers almost every day and they are starting to add up to quite a sum and so far, the IRS can’t do much about it.

The other day when I did that sock hop at a nearby senior care center, there was a lady who had to be close to ninty years old.   I was there to play upbeat early rock and roll and, that’s just what I was doing. My orders were to play comfortably loud in the dance area. The elderly lady came into the room using a walker. She cocked her head to one side and listened a bit. This big old grin came over her face. She was losing years right and left. I saw her step back from her walker and start to boogie like a kid. James Brown would have been impressed and the two of them would probably have gone into a dance challenge. This lady might have won. She had this move of squatting down to the floor as she shuffled her feet and arms. Then, she’d do a kind of twist till she was standing straight up. It was so cool to see.

I saw that some residents honestly couldn’t stand up so I played that song by Johnny Otis, Hand Jive.

Boy, that did it. Hands were waving all over the room. Big grins everywhere. Oh gosh!

I got an email from a listener just this morning. In it, she said how she likes to cook supper to my webcasts. Then, when her hubby comes home from work, they dance a bit in the kitchen before eating. It just tickles me to think that my station does that for a family.

I remember how I used to get calls from a State Trooper who was listening to an FM show I used to do as a volunteer. He’d be on night patrol and the songs were a pleasant diversion from the dull and dangerous night patrol routine.

At the Chatterbox the other night a little girl wanted to know how and why records work. I showed her as best as I could and then really gave her a thrill. I asked her if she would like to start the next record. You’d have thought I told her she was going to Disney World. I showed her where the button was and how to hit it just right. When the time came, she stuck out her tongue like kids do when they’re concentrating. I gave her the cue and she hit the button with a vengence. I think the song starting surprised her. She looked around and turned her ear to the ceiling speakers and just started to laugh.

After the show at the Chatterbox, I was talking to some of the Wanderers. A few of them are really waiting with baited breath for the first Blurp Book to come out. I told them it would be soon. They started talking about some of their favorite Blurps that I’ve done.   But, the best thing was, they started talking about their own personal Blurps. The stories they noticed in their own day to day lives. That was cool to see that they are now hunting for their own personal tales.

I could go on for a long time on this topic. You get the idea. It’s been an honor and a duty for me to do whatever I can to cheer people up. So far, thanks to all of you, I’m pretty darn happy with my big pile of loot.

 

MORE PHOTOS THAN YOU CAN SHAKE A STICK AT 3/9/15

Yes, listener Marsha sent me this giant load of photos from the 50’s and 60’s.  There’s a few dozen at least.  I thought it might be fun for me to do a few Pop Pop Show’s around them.  What I’ll do is bring one on screen and start yakking about it.  This could take awhile but, I think it will be fun.  Enjoy and thank you Marsha.

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