IT’S ON THE WAY
I’m tickled and, about to climb right out of my skin with glee. The final proof copy of my first book Blurps, the Starter Set, just arrived at the door. I figured it wouldn’t get here for at least another week but, the guys and gals at UPS we’re regular Paul Revere’s and went for the land speed record. When I came back from getting a coffee, there it was sitting on an old milk crate out near the front door. My shoulders and rump still hurt from all those cartwheels. Someone’s going to have to show me how to do those things right.
I had a little trouble with the packing tape so, I used my teeth and claws to get the small package open. About an hour later, I was finally able to pull the book out of the box. I only lost one fingernail and a small filling. I closed my eyes as I removed the book. It felt a little thin. Turns out I was holding the packing slip. I forgot about closing my eyes and just shook the book free. It fell into my right hand. I just stood there gawking at it. I hate to admit it but, I almost started bawling. I decided to start laughing instead.
My granddaughter Sadie is on the cover. She was, in a way, the inspiration for the book. She’s a beautiful young girl. This time, she never looked more beautiful. I thumbed through the pages and all looked to be in good order. There might be a typo somewhere. At this point, I don’t care. It’s a go. Man the presses.
I ran to the phone to call the printer. All lines were busy. As I waited for an assistant, I actually whistled along to the two minute repeating phone jingle. I was about ready to add lyrics to it when the operator came on and said hello. I must have seemed like a blabbering fool to her. I was praising the workmanship to the sky and thanking all concerned. Now, that I think about, she’s probably heard all this stuff before. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone on with my babbling for that first half hour. The girl had work to do.
I told her that I’d be needing help placing an order as I really goofed up the last one I tried. She felt she was up to the challenge. Away we went. With her help, the whole process only took about ten minutes. It would have taken me a week at least. Long story short, two hundred books are in the pipeline and should be hear sometime late next week. They might even come sooner. If they take longer, I’ll probably go nuts with anticipation.
The girl and I also set it up so that the book can be bought over the web through things like Barnes and Noble and Amazon. I don’t think that’s quite ready to roll yet. She said it would take a bit for the process to work through the system. I think it’s a pretty good possibility that ebooks will also be able to download it but, not yet.
I must admit that I’m looking forward to selling as many copies as possible. Money has been very tight for Sandy and me. This whole process has set me back a bit more than one might think. It sure would be great to not have to talk myself out of buying a coffee and a buttered roll on my way to work nymore. To actually see an excess balance in the checkbook at the end of the month, even if it was a penny, would put me out in the side yard with the cartwheels again. I’ve heard of vacations. They sound like fun.
Still, there’s another side to my book. I know it’s not War and Peace or Doctor Zhivago. At best it’ll be a pretty good bathroom reader. Some of the blurps turned out pretty darn good. Others didn’t. I’ve found that since I’ve been looking for Blurps to write for you, my own life has become happier. I’ve also noticed that many of you, when you write to me, are starting to write pretty good Blurps yourselves. Now that you are seeking the good, your lives like mine seem a bit happier too. I figure it this way, if I can get people to look for life’s four leaf clovers like Sadie suggested many years ago then the book will have done its job. That would be rich. Rich indeed.