BIG SALE AT THE A&P

Boy do I have a sale for you friends.   This is at your local A&P.  Check these prices.  Local broilers and fryers $.35/lb.  Sirloin Steak just $.31/lb.  Marvel Bread large loaf $.10.  Ann Page Mayonnaise pint jar $.25.   Campbells Tomato Soup 3 cans for $.20.  Sweetheart Soap 3 cakes for $.19.   6oz Package of Kellogg’s Corn Flakes for one week only, just $.05.  In the Seafood Department, Large Shrimp are just $.32/ lb.  B&M Baked Beans are only $.19 for a 28oz jar.  Of course there is much more on sale at your local A&P market.   These prices are good for one week only.  The week of  July23, 1942!!!!   My wife Sandy found this newspaper ad in a box lot she bought at a local auction.  Back in those days the A&P in our area was on Main Street Hackettstown, NJ.  It was also a collection center for used fats for the war effort and, it looks like you cold buy War Bonds there too.  Jane Parker Doughnuts were $.14 a dozen.   I don’t see coffee listed.  It might have been scarce.   On the other side of the page, in a separate article, the War Department was thinking of raising the weekly allowance of gasoline for the average consumer, to four gallons per week.  It was hoped that this measure would ease problems for drivers.

      Have a Happy Thanksgiving all of you.  Eat lots and smile.  Take turns sleeping on the sofa after the meal.   I’ll be dong a one hour show on songs I’m thankful for this evening around 9pm or 9:30pm.  It will be a one hour show.  Take care.

IT’S CLEANING DAY….SORT OF….

Outta my way.  I’m finally going to do it.  Noting will stop me today.  There’s a giant twenty box pile of old papers and catalogs form from eight years ago sitting in my studio.  It’s blocking the heat radiator.  It’s full of dust and spiders.  I don’t really mind the spiders.   They’re those Squidward type spiders and they’re pretty good at catching stink bugs and hornets.  They can stay but, the dust and junk is going to go.  Like Crazy Eddie cut prices to the bone, I’m going to be a regular tornado of flying debris today.  Stay out of my way!!!!  Here I come.    Oh, first I gotta make a coffee.  There’s this great movie on TCM.  Ooops, Millie the hound wants to go for a walk.  Right after my Sunday afternoon nap, I’m getting right on this God forsaken mess.  I’ve put it off too long.  I’m going for the top of the pile first.   Look at what’s sitting right on top.  It’s a 1942 copy of Popular Science magazine.  Wow an article on the “new” Philco combination radio and record player for the den.  Whoa!  Cool!    Yes sir this pile is outta here.

JOKE FROM A FRIEND

Got this joke in my email from Dave a good friend from the Hackettstwon NJ.  Dave is a barber.  They hear all the good jokes.   Enjoy.  Thanks Dave.                                                                                                                       A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse  vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary.


Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, “May I ask what the turkey did?”


  
Happy Thanksgiving

THE FIFTY CENT SHOPPING SPREE

Many years ago my relatives out in Western Pennsylvania learned that the big employer in their city, a huge bronze foundry, was closing up shop.  The news came right about this time of year just before Thanksgiving.   The economy of the town went to pot.  Jobs were gone.   Most of my relatives worked at that plant and, it looked like Christmas was not going to happen.  A sadness fell over the city.  Prosperity would not be around he corner any time soon.

     I’ve always admired the get up and come back swinging after you’ve been clobbered attitude of my family out there.  It was kind of fun hearing how they fought with the manager of a five and dime if candy went up a penny per pound.  Grandma was always duking it out with  oil burner repairmen.  Of course after she got her point across and, her opponent gave in, she was always ready to give the guy a cup of coffee and have a chat with him.  Heck, he’d probably even get a tip.  Delivery men, repairmen, potato chip salesmen all knew it was much healthier to not cross the lady living at 123 Beaver Street.  No sir.
     So, with attitudes like that, going for them, none of us here back East, figured a measly thing like a plant shutdown was going to stop Grandma and her crew.  We didn’t have long to wait before they hatched a plan and gave us a call.  Grandma had Mom, her oldest daughter on the phone for an hour.  This was the deal.  For this Christmas and until further notice no Christmas present could cost more than fifty cents.  It was a stroke of sheer genius.  Now remember, fifty cents back then would be like five bucks nowadays.  To make things even better you could only buy one gift per person on your list.  In fact, for that first year, we all drew names and the name we got was the only gift we had to buy.  Later, as things got a bit better, you could give one gift per person to as many relatives as you wanted but, the prime directive was it had to cost no more than fifty cents.
     The challenge was on.  We all hit garage sales, bargain shelves, or, found ourselves building or cooking something from scratch.  I went out and found pretty bottles in junk heaps.  I’d clean them and fill them with colored water.  I had a case of them.  Darned if they didn’t look pretty darn good.  Uncle Bill, got a bologna sandwich and a cheap beer Christmas morning.  It was just what he wanted.  Aunt Alice got a lamp from a garage sale.  The base was a bust of General Mac Arthur.  She kind of liked the General.  Grandma got carved soap from one of us.  It floated.
     Long story short.  It was one of the greatest Christmas days ever.  The laughing went on for hours.  Money saved was put into a Christmas turkey dinner fund and there was plenty to eat.  The 50 cent Christmas Gift idea went on in our family for many years.  The 50 cent gift was always opened last because it was the best gift.  It was a gift from the heart.

HAVE SOME SPAGHETTI THERE MARCO

I had the best meal this evening.  It was tasty as can be and, easy to do.  Better than that, I think it didn’t even cost a buck and, it saved on our garbage bill.  About a week ago, I made some nice spaghetti sauce.  I put sausage and chopped meat into it and anything else I could think of.  It turned out great.  I don’t like to brag but, I do make great spaghetti sauce and, I always make enough.  This time, I think I made about three quarts.

     You may remember my story about not being able to find the missing box of spaghetti.  That was one of the boxes I got real cheap along with seven other boxes at the A&P’s discount clearance shelf.  It boiled up real tasty and on Sunday night I had a very good meal.  On Monday, I had spaghetti again.  This time I got a few crusty hoagie rolls from the store’s bakery and had a little spaghetti with sausage sandwiches soaked in peppers and sauce.  Well, long story short, it was spaghetti one way or another for a few more days and then I froze what was left.  After the weekend, I set the microwave on defrost and it was a case of here we go again.
     What’s this Thursday?  Yes, it is.  So after two or three more nights of gorging, I tried one more thing for tonight’s feast.  I only had a little bit of straight spaghetti left in the first box, I had just a little Cavatappi  (corkscrews) left in another box.  In the freezer, there was a few large raviolis wrapped up in a freezer bag.  I decided to boil each pasta all together at once.  You got to time everything just right but, once done, all those shapes and styles of pasta with the last of the meat sauce, made for a great looking bowl full.  It was like eating a Jackson Pollak painting.  (I don’t think I spelled Jackson’s name right.)   I don’t think I’ve had a better meal in a long time.  Each bite was different.  I pass this knowledge on to you.  Enjoy and eat well pilgrim.
     You know,  If I was traveling with Marco Polo when he brought pasta back to Italy from China,  I don’t think the spaghetti would have made to Genoa.  I’d have probably picked up a few tomatoes at a road side stand and that night around the campfire………..

THE CASE OF THE MISSING BOX OF PASTA

The other day at the A&P I spotted a small display of spaghetti on drastic sale.  It looked to be slightly damaged boxes on sale for one dollar and then, on top of that they were marked an additional 50% off.  Being an A&P employee I got an additional 10% off.  It was also, employee double discount day, so, I got 10% more.   That made the price something like 20 cents per box.  I love pasta and, it tastes especially good when I can get it real cheap.  Long story short, I bought eight boxes and danced all the way to my car.  When I got home, I pirouetted all the way to the cupboard and sang a happy tune as I placed the boxes into the cupboard.

      That night, I figured that I’d eat spaghetti and, lots of it too.  I boiled the water and fished out a box from my treasure trove.  I was so happy with my good fortune that I got out some of my own spaghetti sauce from the freezer and ate like a pig.   God, it was so good.
     After dinner, I had some station chores to do and I rushed through the clean up.  The rest of the night was spent typing and burping garlic.  Life was good.  No, life was great.
     The next day, I moseyed into the kitchen to work on breakfast.  I was actually, thinking of maybe having more spaghetti.  A spaghetti sandwich crossed my mind.  I looked in the cupboard to grab the box from last night as I started to boil some water.  The box was nowhere to be seen.  Seven boxes sat in their old spot where I left them the day before.  But, that partial box was gone.  I looked everywhere.  I hunted through the cupboard, the fridge, the freezer, the garbage, under the sink, out on the deck, in the bathroom, and I even looked under the bed.  I left no spot untouched.  I kept telling myself that it was just a twenty cent box of pasta.  In fact, now that I had eaten some of it’s contents, it was really only worth about 15 cents.  Still, I became obsessed and spent at least a half hour searching.  All the while, I kept telling myself to just forget it.  It was just a box of old pasta but, now, it became the golden fleece.  I can’t tell you how many places I looked.  I even moved the fridge just to be sure.  I can’t tell you how many times I counted the remaining boxes.  They were scattered all over the cupboard but always came up seven.  Where was number seven and a half????
     I finally had to go to bed.  Lying in bed , I thought of one more spot and got up to look.  Nope, not there either.  It was just going to have to wait till morning.
     The net morning Sandy was in the kitchen boiling a yam.  I looked in the cupboard one more time.  No luck.  So, I asked Sandy. ” Hey, did you happen to see a box of spaghetti laying around?”
     Sandy said, “Sure, they’re all in the Cupboard right where you left them.  They’re all there.”
     I couldn’t take it.  “No they aren’t.  I had eight boxes.  Now, there’s seven.  See?”
     Sandy went on.  “I count eight.  eight boxes. right there.”
     I scratched my head.  ” I count seven”
     Sandy walked over to the cupboard.  “Yeah, there’s seven on this shelf…see?  Here’s the other box, the one you used, on the lower shelf sitting on top of the soup cans.  Here.”    She handed the box to me.
     Right away, I saw what happened.  I’m taller than Sandy and, from my point of vision, the middle shelf blocked my view of the lost spaghetti box.  Sandy, from her point of view, was just the right height to see the box easily on ther lower shelf.  From my view, it was invisible.
     Lesson learned.  When you got a problem looking for a solution, get a few points of view.

 

A LITTLE GIRL WAITING FOR HER FOLKS

 

YETANOTHER HELPING HAND

I’m always getting an idea for a story or a show or a chore I have to get done.  Then immediately, or certainly within five minutes, I forget what it was.  I’ve done this all my life.  It’s nothing new.  Peoples names go in one ear and out the other.  I’ve tried many ways to fight this problem.  I had a great idea to solve this affliction once but, I can’t remember what it was.  I’ve gone so far as to write the idea on a post it and stick it on my sleeve.  I’ve actually had post its running up my arm.  This works till it gets windy.

     The best idea so far, let me see if I can remember it for you, is to take an old A&P 3X5 inch sale sign and write a message on it’s back side.   There’s plenty of room on the back for all sorts of data.  The other side is nice and bright so, it sticks out like a sore thumb.  In other words they aren’t too easy to lose.  Plus, and this is the big thing, they fit just fine in my back pocket.  I couldn’t ask for a better memory aid.
     So, what I do is to snag the sign cards in my dairy department after the sale is over and keep them in a stash wherever I might travel.  There’s some in the car and, more in the studio here.  I keep a few blanks in my back pocket.  There’s one or two in the bathroom and, more on the nightstand.
     What’s great is that I now have my manager in the dairy department saving them for me.  But, wait, there’s more.  Now the night manager is saving them for me. He’s good for a couple dozen a day.  You can’t imagine the help it is to have a mess of these things around.
     It’s pretty cool all the ways people help me out one way or another each day.  I’ll have to keep a card in my pocket and take notes for yet another story for you sometime soon.  Must not forget.  I already have the card in my pocket.